Darkness to the Light
by Master Isabella
Summary: During the battle scene in The Force Awakens, Rey agrees to let Kylo Ren teach her the ways of the Force in the hopes that she can somehow find redemption in the monster he's become and turn him to the Light side. Reylo (Kylo Ren x Rey)
1. Chapter 1

_**\- Rey -**_

"You need a teacher," he says. "I can show you the ways of the Force."

Locked in battle, light sabers yielded between us. The blue reflects in my eyes, the red in his eyes. His eyes. . . so like Han's, yet so empty and cold. Hollow. The years spent relishing in the Dark side has emptied him of any light.

 _The ways of the Force._ The words echo in my mind. This is the son of Han Solo and Leia Organa, sister of Luke Skywalker. The Force is within him, but I know that it is somehow within me, too. I know what I can do, I can call deep inside me and touch that power. If I call to it hard enough, like I did when held captive in that interrogation room, there's no limit to what I can do. But maybe there are limits. Limits I can't pass unless I have someone to teach me. And he's one of the last.

One of the last people to hone the Force. If I kill him now, that's one less person. What if the Resistance never finds Luke Skywalker? Who would teach me, who knows so much of the Force and its teachings unlike the man in front of me?

This is Han Solo's son, I think. The son who killed Han without blinking. A soulless creature. Who could murder their father in cold blood? Han, he wasn't a bad man. He wasn't the villain in anyone's life, but perhaps to Kylo Ren he was. I recall the conversation between father and son. Han wanted so badly to turn his son back to the Light, to fix the broken pieces within him and bring him home.

 _Home._

He's so lucky to have a home. Jakku wasn't as much a home for me as just a place to wait the return of whoever left me behind. I can't help but feel guilty at the thought of having to kill Kylo. Like all Han did to see his son again gone to waste. Han just wanted to see his son home safe again.

And maybe I can still do that.

Staring up at him, his teeth gritted as he holds his stance. Behind me I feel the cliff begin to give way. The planet is further collapsing, and we don't have long, but. . .

I close my eyes, focusing, reaching deep inside me until I can feel it, feel the Force within, and I can so clearly grasp it that it's almost as if I'm holding it in my hands. It's delicate but strong, something that the weak couldn't handle because of the power it contains. _Focus, Rey_ , I can hear the voice inside my head, leading me forward, showing me the way to grabbing hold.

"Argh!" I shove forward, jumping off the side just as the gaping line across the snowbank swallows more and more of the ground beneath out feet. Kylo turns, his light saber twirling in his hand. I lunge forward and our weapons clash, the buzzing noise it makes already familiar to my ears. We clash four more times before I'm able to sweep under and slash his leg, some of the black fabric from his coat fluttering to the ground, a stark contrast to the white around us.

He drops to his knees, then he falls to his elbows, panting heavily. I circle around him, teeth gritted, also breathing heavily. I'm surprised when he rises and strikes out against me. I let out a small scream as I block his lightsaber from hitting me. But he doesn't stand a chance as I bring my lightsaber up and feel the shock go through my arms as it brushes across his face. His body drops to the ground all too fast, and I panic as I begin to think I might have killed him, until I see the unsteady rise and fall of his chest.

My moment of guilty triumph is interrupted as the ground begins to quake beneath me and the ground between me and Kylo breaks apart. I don't think before I lunge and land right beside him. I drop my saber beside me and turn around as the other side moves further and further into the distance.

Turning back around, I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths. I open them to find the unconscious Kylo Ren beneath me. _Force, what have I done? How is anyone supposed to find me in this collapsing planet? And Finn. . . ?_

"No!" I jump to my feet and glance into the abyss before me. Finn, on the other side, injured and alone. I hadn't even thought about him, and, oh, Force, what if he. . . My thoughts trail off as I stare down into the darkness. No, no, no. I can't think about this. I shake my head, turning around and dropping to my knees. My face falls into my hands and I tremble. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Pushing all thoughts of Finn's fate out of my mind, I try to stay focused on the task at hand. Alone with Kylo Ren, a planet crumbling around me, we're both very much dead unless by some miracle we can escape. But just staring at him I know he's too much weight for me to pull by myself. I close my eyes and take steady even breaths.

"Ren!" A voice, in the distance, one that's unfamiliar. I quickly reach for my - Luke's - saber and jump to my feet. The blue rod of light shoots out of the cannon. Footsteps tread through the ever-deepening snow and soon there appears a ginger-haired man and behind him a small band of stormtroopers. As soon as they spot me their guns pull up and all aim at me. The man who I believe is the leader stops just as suddenly, his eyes roving from me to Kylo, still unconscious on the ground. The young man's eyes fall on me once again and they narrow. " _You_ ," he spits.

"Don't come any closer!" I shout at them, raising the lightsaber as I lodge myself between them and Kylo Ren. I gulp heavily, taking few steps back. My steps leave imprints in the snow, and now that I finally take that into account, I feel the chill rise from my feet. A shiver runs down my spine. I glance down at Kylo Ren before positioning my body into a defensive stance. "He's losing blood fast, and he doesn't have long, so I propose you don't touch me, or it's all over."

The orange-haired man growls, and I feel fear creep up through me as he takes strong, long-legged strides toward me, his hands curled into fists underneath his leather gloves. I stumble back, lifting up my arms, ready for another fight. But his journey over to what I think is to strangle me is short-lived as an arm shoots out and grabs his booted leg.

"You. . . don't. . . touch her," Kylo Ren murmurs, his eyes barely opened to slits. Blood continues to pour from his several wounds, and it's as if I can hear the clock ticking for him. His eyes meet mine for a moment before he nods off again.

The man signals forward the stormtroopers, and I watch as four step forward, scoop him up, and begin to lug him away. Another trooper comes forward and snatches up the red lightsaber, eyeing me warily.

I step forward, hand reaching out. "Wait, where are you taking-"

The man steps in front of me, his body completely blocking my view as the stormtroopers disappear with Kylo cradled between them. A few remain, sights still aimed on me. I glare up at the guy before me.

"Where are they taking him?" I ask again.

"That, I'm afraid, is classified information."

I glance around his shoulder, desperate for possibly my last glance at Han Solo's son before they drag me Force knows where and probably kill me for doing what I did. But it's too late, Kylo already disappearing in the falling snow and dust that is rising with the fall of the planet.

I lean back to glare up into the face of the ginger-haired man, noticing for the first time that his eyes are blue and he is, in fact, quite handsome. "Who the hell are you, anyway?" I snap at him.

"My name is General Hux," he says, and I am under strict orders to bring you with me."

"By who?" I query, narrowing my eyes.

"No one of importance to you," he answers icily. "Now, _hurry_ ," he hisses. The man snatches my arm and tugs me along beside me as we make our way out of the dense forest, the air heavy with snow and fog and the ashes as more and more ground seems to crumble away behind us. I stumble along, fumbling with my hands as I attach Luke's lightsaber to my belt. The stomtroopers stay back a few steps, blasters still aimed at me, as if I'm a threat in such a weakened state.

As we reach the edge of the treeline, I see bright lights and then the command shuttle that awaits us. Kylo Ren is nowhere to be found, and I don't know why but I panic at the thought of being alone with anyone else when he's not around. Not that he's so trustworthy either but. . .

Our paces quicken the closer we get to the command shuttle and as General Hux boards the landing strip, I halt. "Wait!" I say, grabbing him my the arm. His body reacts and stiffens at my touch and I quickly release him, and he does the same to me. I can still feel his hand on my forearm, knowing by tomorrow I'll have a prominent bruise there.

"What?" he says, clearly on his last thread of patience. His eyes scan the horizon, the planet going up in flames. I can only hope that Finn and the rest got out all right.

"Will he be okay?" I ask.

"Who? Kylo Ren?" The general glances over his shoulder as a few stormtroopers signal for us to board. He scowls at me. "He won't be if you don't board the shuttle. We have to hurry and get him to medical. There's no telling the damage you and your little friend have done."

I think back to the blood soaking into the snow and the flash of blue as the lightsaber streaked across Kylo Ren's face. And maybe it's that image that makes me unquestionably follow Hux aboard the command shuttle, and watch in utter silence as the bay door closes soundlessly behind me, the planet and my friends disappearing as the door seals shut.

I take a deep breath as General Hux mutters to me, "Welcome aboard, Rey."


	2. Chapter 2

\- Rey -

This was a huge mistake.

This was the stupidest thing I've ever done, I realize, stumbling back against the cold metal plating of the ship's wall. My hands pressed against it, the vibrations course through me as the engines rumble to life.

Hux eyes me for a moment, head tilted to the side uninterested, before spinning on his heel and stalking toward one of the many doors around us. I can barely hear as he turns to two stormtroopers, then mumbled under his breath, "Put her somewhere she won't cause any. . . Problems." With a last glance behind his shoulder at me, he disappears.

I almost cry out. Not that I trust him and want to be near him, but he's the only one I know on this shuttle. The stormtroopers, they're faceless soldiers, seemingly empty behind their played helmets.

I don't have time to unlatch my saber before they drag me into the belly of the shuttle, shoving me into a room and closing the door. I hear a lock click, and know that I'm utterly and completely alone at the moment.

Studying my surroundings, I find that they locked me into a storage unit. Bins stacked around me, there's a metallic taste in the air, and I hope to whoever the hell is up there that there's some other weapon, specifically not Luke Skywalker's lightsaber.

I stumble across the floor and shove open a bin, peering inside to find only a bunch of what seems to be supplies to patch up the shuttle in case of anything gets broken or whatever. The others reveal more stores of supplies, and finally I grip the edge of one before slipping to the floor, nudging my head between my knees. Deep breaths, I tell myself.

A hopeless cause. I shouldn't have come with him. No, not when as soon as he woke up and was able to speak, the first thing out of his mouth would be to execute me on the spot. Kill me, take the saber, then track down my friends and do what needed to be done. Find Luke Skywalker. Kill him, too.

There's a pang of anger knowing that that saber will be in Kylo's hands, not Luke's. Not in its rightful place.

But the saber doesn't mean much, right? They can still find Luke, still have hope against the First Order. It wasn't like I was a key aspect of the entire plot of things, not really.

Not really, when I was just a scavenger from Jakku. Isn't that what everyone referred to me as anyway? The scavenger? Ha, to think I was really important. I just got caught up in this whirlwind, all because I found BB-8.

BB-8. Finn. Chewbacca.

Where did they go from here? Where did I go from here?

Perhaps, I think rather grimly, to my execution.

Several hours later, I hear the lock click, and jump to my feet in a defensive stance, hand already fumbling for Luke's saber.

A stormtrooper stoops through the doorway, though freezes when he sees what I'm pointing at him. His hand slowly migrated toward his blaster, but he stops. He knows I won't do anything. I'm in a lions den. I'm by myself in the enemy's territory.

Again, utterly alone.

"The general wants you," the stormtrooper says, nudging his blaster toward the door. I nod, taking one glance around my seemingly cramped prison cell, before I lead through the door. The stormtrooper nudges me around the corner until I'm faced with Hux again, orange-ish hair gleaming in the dim lights. I gulp back the bile of fear that rises in me. This could be it.

Hux opens his mouth, but in a feeble attempt to distract him from leading me to my impending doom, I say -

"How is he?"

Hux's mouth clamps shut. He eyes me warily before responding, "Ren is recovering nicely. It was a nice blow you gave him, but don't think you impaired him too badly."

"I didn't mean it that w-"

"According to Ren himself, I'm to release you as you're not. . . A prisoner." Hux looks me up and down, and I shift from one foot to the other. "Don't get any ideas, though. I'll have some of my best stormtroopers following closely, so don't try to do anything reckless. I've ordered them to shoot you on the spot should you try anything seemingly threatening."

I smile to myself a bit.

"What?" Hux snaps at me.

"You're putting your best troopers with me," I say, trying to sound uninterested. "Does that mean you're worried about my intentions aboard?"

Hux narrows his eyes at me, his shoulders tensing ever so slightly beneath the fabric of his coat. For a moment I think I'll get a rise out of him, but then he turns away, signals to the troopers, and begins to leave me once again without a glance behind.

"W-wait!" I say, taking two steps toward him before a trooper raises his arm to block me from going any further.

"Can't I see him?" I ask, my hands squeezing the arm plates of the stormtroopers suit.

Hux replies, "I don't think that's the best thing for him at this moment."

I scoff, wondering if Hux actually cares about Kylo Ren's wellbeing. "I need to see him," I say, propping myself up in a tall, sturdy stance. To show him I won't back down, not now.

"No," Hux says.

"Please!" I say, my eyes silently pleading to him. I don't know why it's so important to see him myself, but I feel like I need to be there, need to see that he's all right after I. . .

"Please," I whisper.

Maybe it's because I'm not heartless, and no matter who it is, I'm supposed to feel sorry for. But maybe it's also because he's Han Solo's son, and even after he murdered his own father in cold blood, there's a responsibility there, like I need to show him that if Han Solo had hope for him, then so can he himself.

So can I, maybe.

Or maybe it's all for nothing. And I'll end up killing him, or he'll end up killing me. Either way someone might fail, and me jumping across that chasm and leaving behind Finn was all for nothing.

Hux mutters to himself, a lot like something something scavenger, then says to me, "Very well" and motions for me to follow him.

Follow him to Kylo Ren.

Follow him to my enemy.

And something about that terrifies me.

But I find myself following him anyway.

Kylo's command shuttle isn't big enough to hold a full medical ward, but when Hux leads me through the doorway guarded by several troopers, I see that there was considerate thought into putting one in.

There's only enough room to fit two cots (one of which is closed off by a white curtain) and some medical equipment, and there's a few small port windows that show very distant stars twinkling, a sight I never get tired of.

I realize how different the rest of the shuttle is from the interrogation room I had first encountered Kylo, face-to-face. I quickly shove that thought away.

Hux stalks to the closed curtains and closes it for moment. I can hear muffled talking, the exchanging of words. That slightly familiar rough voice, so deep it rumbles through deep within me. A shiver runs up my spine. Fear. Anxiety. A whirlwind of emotions crawl up inside me to nest, and a stone lodges in my throat.

I back away, slowly easing away from the infirmary. I can't do this.

All that strength I had in me to come here and face Kylo, it's disappeared. I'm empty of that bravery to speak to the very person who shoved a lightsaber through Han's body.

"You can go in."

I jump at the voice, too stuck up in my own mind to have noticed that Hux is standing a few feet away, staring expectantly at me. When I raise an eyebrow, he nods his head toward the curtained-off area

Oh. Oh.

". . . Thanks," I say, then catch myself. I shouldn't thank him. I shuffle forward, taking deep breaths. Calm.

I walk to stand in the doorway of the infirmary, watching as the meds attend to Kylo's bedside. The curtain is now pulled away to reveal their glaring patient. General Hux glances at me before clearing his throat. The meds notice us for the first time and, at first glance of the general, they scramble and quickly leave the room.

Hux turns swiftly on his heel, coming to stand beside me, he murmurs so quiet only I can hear, "He's all yours."

Once Hux and the rest of the meds are gone, I take in the room around me, barren except for the bed and the man under the very thin sheet. Arms behind my back, I tap my foot, waiting for a word of welcome or anything, but when that doesn't happen, I take it upon myself to drag a chair over to the bedside, promptly sitting down and waiting in the silence of the room.

"I-"

My voice seems to lodge in my throat when Kylo Ren turns his head toward me. Beneath the shock of black hair and pleading eyes, there's a thick cotton bandage wraps itself diagonally across his face, hiding one entire side so only the one eye can stare at me. He lifts himself higher on the mattress, the sheet falling so that - oh, my - I can see that he, in fact, cloth less from the waist up. I avert my eyes, staring at anything and everything except the bared skin and toned abs of his stomach in front of me.

"What are you doing here?" Maybe it's the coldness in his voice or the emptiness in the room as his words echo, but I gather up the courage to look at him, and for a moment we stare at each other in dead silence before I turn my eyes to my hands, which fumble uncomfortably in my lap.

"You offered to teach me," I say, brows raised in a manner of speaking.

I hear a sharp inhale of breath from him. "That was before you tried to kill me," he murmurs.

"You weren't exactly cooperative yourself," I find myself snapping, and hold back any further rude remarks in fear of upsetting the very person I'm on this command shuttle for.

"You destroyed my base," he replies back.

"With good reason," I tell him, knowing that what I say implies the murder of his father, Han Solo. And he doesn't even flinch, as if it doesn't bother him to hear someone accuse him so plainly of killing his father. I thought I saw hope for him back in our battle, but maybe it was a trick of the mind. Maybe what I said to him is right, and I'm just fooling myself for the sake of somehow repaying Han Solo's generosity to me.

You're a monster.

"I could kill you, you know," he says, turning his head so I can no longer see the bandage wrapped around his head.

"Really?" I say, a small laugh rising up from deep within me. "From what I can recall seeing just now, you're the one lying in an infirmary bed. In fact-"

"But I won't." He turns his head back around, eye narrowed as his eyes rove from the top of my head down to my feet, accessing me, studying my strengths and weaknesses. A chill goes down my spine. I hope that's all he's looking at. "You said you're here because I offered to teach you, and teach you I will."

I nod in reply.

"I was a student myself once," he said. "I still am, in a way. But you. . . you're so stupid." I open my mouth to snap a snarky reply but he continues as if I'm not even going to try and say something to that. "You're weak; you don't know how to use the Force. I saw you, back in the forest, yield it, but in order to truly hold on to that power. . . it takes time and focus."

"It's-"

"We'll start as soon as I heal," he grouses. "Until then, I don't want to see you. Stay out of the way and if I hear of any troubles from you, I'll have General Hux use you as target practice for my stormtroopers."

I don't exactly care for that image very well. I shift in my seat, my eyes falling upon the scars along his abdomen. Some are faint and some look fresh, but they all look as if they have a story to tell.

There's the one on the side of his middle, the one Chewbacca gave him after. . . Han. And I think that must be the most painful. The one that will forever remind him that this was only a small punishment for what he did.

I wonder if he's even thought about it, or if he's as heartless as everyone says he is. Heartless, empty, devoid of feelings.

Who was I to think I could change that?

I reach my hand out as if to brush the scar, but once I realize what I'm doing, I instead use it to adjust the fabric of my pants. I clear my throat and say, "How are you?"

Kylo sighs, and replies, "I said leave."

"And I will," I tell him, then return my gaze to the bandage across his face, hiding the flesh and eye beneath, "but only after you tell me how you're doing."

"I am doing as well as anyone could in this kind of situation," he responds solemnly.

"Not much of a chatter, are you?"

"No."

"I'll leave then," I say, standing up and brushing off imaginary dust off my clothes. As I turn to leave, Kylo's hand shoots out to grab my arm, and the image of Kylo reaching for me in the snow-hidden forest comes to mind. I gulp.

"You have potential, Rey," he says. "Know that. Know you can be more than a scavenger."

More.

It's such a tempting word.

More. More. More.

I turn and leave without comment, because I know that word holds more power than it should over me.

I want more.


	3. Chapter 3

**\- Rey -**

The next day is a daze to me, a hazy timeline of hiding in my bunk or nagging General Hux, whilst doing my best to stay out of the way. Hux, having taken an immediate dislike to the fact that I was following him along his daily duties, has fled my presence before noon, leaving me to explore the shuttle to no avail, as most rooms are locked anyway.

I trail down the empty hall, tracing my fingers along the walls in lazy patterns. Crinkling my nose, I stare down at my clothes, dirty and stained and ripped in places. I still don't have the guts to ask for a shower, but my hygiene is not my top priority at the moment.

Finding my way back to the command station of the shuttle, I step inside and watch the bustle of Stormtroopers and the pilot rushing about. Everyone is too busy to notice the dirty scavenger in the middle of their workday.

Spotting Hux, I make my way over to him, just now noticing the person, a man, he is deep in conversation with.

"We'll arrive at the Finalizer in twenty minutes, general," says what I assume was the pilot of the command shuttle. He holds a tiny tablet in his hands.

"Good," Hux says, observing the room around him. The pilot's gaze drifts over to me before snapping back to Hux.

"We'll be docked within fifteen minutes of arrival. We've already contacted everyone there. They're ready for us, and the meds are ready for Ren."

His gaze drifts over to me again, and I am surprised to see a bit of fear there. Hux noticed the direction of his stare and follows it over to me. Hux scowls and stalks over to me, gripping my arm in a tight vise.

"What the Force do you think you're doing?" he growls angrily, leading me out of the room and tossing me into one of the nearby hallways. "I don't have time for you to follow me around like a lost animal."

"Well, what do you expect me to do?" I ask, tossing my arms in the air. "I'm here of my own free will, I'll do what I want."

"I don't care if it's on your own free will," Hux snaps angrily. "This is still my ship and you'll obey as ordered. Find something useful to do, or I swear I'll obliterate you."

"Empty threats, General," I snap back, feeling all of a sudden very brave in his presence. Foolish, but very brave all the same.

"General Hux, I want a status report ASAP," says a computerized voice, and I turn to see a stormtrooper - or what I assume was a stormtrooper, only dressed in silver and a red cape instead of white and black - coming towards us. I press myself against the wall, making myself as flat and small as possible. An air of superiority and danger flows out of who I thought was a woman.

"I'm on it, Captain," Hux says, giving me one last icy glare before he turns on his heel and follows the silver trooper away. I sigh, knowing I am left to my own devices until who knows when.

In all honesty I wish to return to the medical ward, but there was a part of me that truly believed Ren will use me as target practice for the stormtroopers, and that fear is keeping me away well enough. Well, that and the fact that I've been denied access to see him. According to Hux, I would be a tremendous strain on Kylo's journey back to full health.

Sighing, I stumble down the hallway, my hands sliding over the grates on the walls, the cool metal soaking into my palms as I search for something, anything, that will keep me from that place. He has no reason to see me just as I have no reason to see him. But I feel a calling, as if I need to be beside him, just to know that he is breathing and alive and I didn't, in fact, injure him all that badly.

 _Rey._

My head whips from side to side, but further inspecting reveals that no one is in the hall with me. Still, I call out, voice shaking, "Hello?"

Nothing. Silence. Empty air.

I slide onto the floor, wondering to myself if I am going crazy.

* * *

The command shuttle docks in twenty minutes just as the pilot had said it would, and within the next twenty minutes I am found and being led off the shuttle by several stormtroopers, blasters already trained on me, even though they know I don't stand a chance against so many of them.

I wait until I spot Hux trailing behind several stormtroopers, observing what I now know as the Finalizer. There is nothing cozy about the place, and I rub my arms, missing the stuffy cockpit of the Millennium Falcon. The way you could feel how it had been cherished and been through many adventures. All I can feel here was empty space and a darkness I couldn't quite put my finger on. A darkness that seemed to surround everything and everyone, almost as if it had a presence of its own.

"Rey," Hux calls from across the walkway. "Come."

Shuffling forward, I keep guard as I am led deeper into this so-called Finalizer. As we pass countless troopers, I make sure to hide Luke's saber in the folds of my clothes. Trust no one. Don't let it out of your sight.

"Where are we going?" I ask Hux. I am so tired of not knowing where I am going next. An endless unknown, it's making me weary.

"Somewhere," Hux replies.

I scoff and say, "You could be a little more specific."

Hux glances behind his shoulder at me. "I'd prefer you not speak."

"I have a mouth," I say, "and I'll use it as I please."

Hux scowls. "You're lucky Ren ordered me not to kill you."

I shudder and shut my mouth.

"Speaking of Ren," I say, venturing far enough that he'll let me speak, "how is he?"

"You saw him earlier," Hux says.

"Yes, but that was earlier."

"It's classified information."

"His health?"

"Everything, Rey."

I shudder again. I hate when he says my name, like it's an insult thrown in my face, distant somehow.

"Can you at least tell me if he's breathing? If his vitals are normal?" I ask hopefully.

"Why do you care anyway?" Hux grumbles, straightening his back. He tenses when I near him closer.

"I have a right to care, you know," I tell him. "And for Ren."

"How so?" Hux asks, raising a brow at me.

I look defiantly back at him and say, "For his father."

Hux lets out what sounds like half a laugh and half a scoff as he stalks forward.

"Ren hasn't had a father in a long time, Rey."

* * *

"I hope you find your accommodations. . . Suitable," Hux says, gesturing to the bare room ahead of me. What I assume used to be a bunk room for troopers is now my "room." Devoid of anything except an uncomfortable-looking bunk, a table, and a rack that was big enough to hold stormtrooper suits.

I nod, and Hux leaves before I can tell him anything, or further demand he take me to see Kylo.

I unlatch Luke's lightsaber and set it down on the table, then reach behind me and pull the blaster out from my waistband, setting it beside my other temporary weapon. I'm surprised they weren't confiscated as soon as I stepped aboard, but I guess with hundreds of stormtroopers in the area, it wouldn't really matter if I pulled out a weapon or not. Nonetheless, I stare down at them.

My only belongings. Quite sad, I wonder what has become of my home in Jakku.

Perhaps there is no home to go on Jakku, as I found myself thinking about awhile back, but now I know there is no home for me anywhere.

No home. No family. And until recently, I had had no friends.

Friends who I had so easily abandoned for my own selfish reasons. A reason that perhaps would help me accept Han's death, or at least honor him by it.

Stupid, Rey. So stupid.

I drop onto the bunk, spreading my sore limbs out and arranging myself into a somewhat comfortable position, closing my eyes for a quick rest. Maybe some refreshing will do my mind some good.

I doubt it.

I close my eyes, and try to think of all the good things I've encountered. But all that comes to my mind is the haunting image of Kylo Ren in that bed in the infirmary. It's enough to scare me from both sleep and my mind, and I spend the rest of the restless hours staring blankly at the far wall, until finally, somehow, I find enough peace to fall asleep.

First came the images.

 _"He was training a new generation of Jedi. One boy, an apprentice, turned against him, destroyed it all. Luke felt responsible. He just walked away from everything."_

 _"Do you know what happened to him?"_

 _"A lot of rumors. Stories. People that knew him best think he went looking for the first Jedi temple._

 _"The Jedi were real?"_

 _Hans looks at me, and opens his mouth to respond, but they fade from mind._ _In their place, an untouched snow-capped forest._

 _Brown eyes piercing into mine, blue and red reflections in his irises._

 _"You need a teacher."_

 _Hans, with a lightsaber through his abdomen before he falls from the side of the bridge._

 _"I can show you the ways of the Force."_

 _Finn, unconscious, lying in the snow._

 _"You. . . don't. . . touch her."_

 _Chewbacca as he cries out for Hans._

 _"You. You're afraid. That you will never be as strong as Darth Vader."_

 _Kylo Ren._

 _The forest disappears, and in its wake -_ _the basement, reaching for Luke's lightsabers._

 _"Rey? These are your first steps."_

 _As if I'm grabbed away, I'm back in that chair, strapped down, defenseless._

 _"You're so lonely... So afraid to leave... At night, desperate to sleep... You imagine an ocean... I see it... I see the island... And Han Solo... You feel like he's the father you never had. He would have disappointed you."_

 _Imagine an ocean._

 _The island._

 _The father you never had._

 _Hans grasping his son before falling into blackness._

 _"Rey, wake up."_

 _No!_

 _"Rey!"_

My eyes flew open and my hands reached for my throat as ragged breaths forced their way from my mouth. I adjust to the unsettling darkness of the room, pressing one palm to my forehead. Real. The dreams felt so real, as if I was there just now. I shakily stood from the bunk and stumbled over to my lightsaber.

Had someone been calling my name? To wake me up?

No, it's not possible. I look around the room. It's completely empty. No one was ever in here, I've been asleep for who knows how long and it was all just a terrible, terrible dream.

I can't stay here. I can't stay locked up in a glorified cell while the whole galaxy continues on, while my allies are out of reach and in danger and I'm in enemy territory. I can't allow to be a sitting, waiting target. Not when the only thing keeping those stormtroopers from busting down the door and cutting me from where I stand is Kylo Ren's command when he was half-conscious and probably delirious from pain. Any moment now I could be dead. Any moment could he send Hux or someone else to kill me.

I reach for the lightsaber, its warm metal familiar in my hand. I stare down at it, grip it tightly, and my dreams come rushing back to me again. I close my eyes, but when I do the darkness behind my eyelids are plagued by images. I attach the lightsaber to my belt and cover it with fabric, then shove the blaster under the mattress.

As quietly as I can, I creep over to the door and place my ear against the cool metal of the door, and for a moment I relish the cold against my cheek. I listen for the signs of stormtroopers posted outside my door, but the only thing I can hear is the hum of the ship's engine running through the interior walls.

Barely cracking open the door, I peek into the hallway to see it utterly empty. I slip out and shut the door without a sound. I'm faced with the decision of which way to go, glancing both left and right. Both directions branch off into even more hallways, and the chances of me running into someone, specifically stormtroopers, is far too great to just run off in whichever direction.

I close my eyes and concentrate, trying to bring all my focus into one spot.

 _Focus, Rey,_ I tell myself. _You have to focus. Concentrate._

 _There._

Maybe I'm just imagining it, but I feel a sensation similar to a tug, as if my instincts having taken a mind of their own. Or something else has. I turn left, determined to just do something, go somewhere, and not wait around for my inevitable death. Escape isn't an option, not when surrounded by so many enemies ready to kill me instantly, but perhaps I could a way to contact the Rebellion or the Millennium Falcon. Let them know I'm alive.

Force knows what Finn must be feeling right now.

 _You're the one who left him on the other side of that chasm. You're the one who chose Kylo Ren._

I silence my thoughts, knowing that my dreams have only inflicted pain onto me. I just need to stay focused. Center myself on that invisible string tugging me away. It's so faint I can barely feel it, but its pull is undeniable.

I squeeze my eyes shut, taking shuddering breaths as the images from my dream race by, one after the other. There was no ocean for me this time, no island to swim to. There was only the feeling of being alone, and knowing that Kylo Ren has taken that island from me. That it will never belong to just my mind now.

It is because I'm distracted that I don't hear the murmuring of voices up ahead, and it is not until I turn into the next hallway that I am faced with General Hux, the silver stormtrooper that I had seen him with earlier, and following behind them, half a dozen stormtroopers.

Facing them, I am struck dumb and unable to move my feet. I can only stare at Hux's reddening face, and the reflection of my face in the silver trooper's helmet.

"You must be Kylo Ren's new prisoner."


End file.
